Summer
Summer of fun
Summer of sun
Summer is great for everyone
Summer of food
Such a good mood
Summer’s a time for the best attitude
Everyone loves these couple of months
Everyone smiles more than just once
Everyone climbs the tall tree trunks
Because
Its
Summer!
That’s a poem that my brother wrote. It was a pretty optimistic take on the worst season of the year but it was actually alright. He’s not great with words but he said this was his first step to becoming like me. Flattering but I didn't like the piece so much. The rhythm and rhymes are pretty good for an 8 year old kid but the message of summer being the absolute best season ever couldn’t be further from the truth.
As I have told you before, I hate summer. It’s the worst season of all in my opinion. There's nothing to look forward to except the…
I can't even think of anything to look forward to!
This summer is the same as the last. It’s a Wednesday. It's 25°C outside when it's PAST 6PM! The music I’m listening to isn't really helping my mood. I’m laying down on my not-comforting-enough bed, juxtaposing the “Most Comfortable” title that the mattress boldly proclaims with the plank my body is squirming around on. Today isn't the perfect day to do anything but this. I watch YouTube and scroll away on Instagram, waiting for something interesting.
Everything is bland
Nothing is the same
Everything was better when you were still in the frame.
I remember what you used to say to me when I was upset:
“Go, get some fresh air. Look around then close your eyes. Focus on the smells around you and get yourself lost in them. Focus on the sounds and get yourself lost in them. Focus on the feel of the breeze and get yourself lost in it. And try to find your way out on your own. I won’t always be here to guide you out.”
I sit alone in my thoughts for some more time, while those words circle my brain. It’s 8PM now. It’s cooler outside.
I get up. I get dressed into something that isn't nightwear and walk out of my bedroom door for the first time today (other than to go to the toilet, of course). I put my trainers on - the ones that were your favourite - and walk out of the house to Greatfields Park. I breathe the outside air and look around me as I make my way to the park.
The moments with you were worthwhile
No reason left to smile
Hold on tight, I'll be with you in a while
I walk onto the grass and watch people play games with their friends. I gaze at the sky, which watches my every move. I look up at the trees that stand tall and still like guards, not letting anything faze them. I focus on the way I got here and turn my head to see the path I walked minutes before.
I hear the laughter. It begins to fill my head. I hear the horns pressed by the flustered people driving their cars on the traffic-filled roads. I hear the leaves fidgeting on their branches as the wind moves them around. I hear the seagulls call to each other. I hear the heavy sound of my breathing. I don't often really pay any attention to the sound of my breathing
I breathe some deep breaths while my eyes are closed, focussing on the sounds I've heard, the things I've seen and on the breeze that gently taps my face. The commotion I've created in my brain continues. I focus on each point one by one, trying to gain some clarity. Laughter. Playing. Leaves. Trees. Breeze.
You helped me open my mind and be free
Even though you weren't here with me
I wish I could pay you back instantly
Playing. Leaves. Trees. Breeze
Leaves. Trees Breeze
Trees. Breeze.
Breeze.
My head is clear. There is no longer a cluster of thoughts swirling around. I know how to get out. I am no longer lost.
I am free from the chains I restrained myself with. I have decided to break free. You will still be in my heart. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m glad we met. I’m glad we were best friends. I hope you will stay with me until the end, as you said you would.
Just as summer must end
So has this period of me having to depend
On you, my friend.
I must let (you) go now.
Until we meet again.